Monday, December 8, 2008

Simple support is probably best.

Sometimes trying to do too much or trying to be too nice can have the complete opposite effect. Sometimes even enough to break apart strong bonds after so many years of tightness. 


A couple of things I learned about myself even after just my second day back visiting in Hong Kong. A lot of things have happened. Its a reminder of how often in life, keeping a simple perspective on life may be the best recipe. 


There is no point trying to please everybody all the time. That cannot happen. Too much effort pleasing one person will inevitably upset another who is close to you. Relationships in life should exist in a comfortable balance, with family being at the core, and should always always take the center-piece of your attention. 


I should try not to forget that. 


Everyone, every family has their own struggles. I can only keep to my own while offering my support to others. My role isn't to help them all. I am too powerless for that and it'll be arrogant to think I can do otherwise. What is my role, when others are in need?


Support. Listen. Sometimes just being there. I don't know what it can achieve. But I can only remind myself that I can only do so much. It's not my place to over-extend my boundaries. Caution must be exercised even if I were to try to help. 


Otherwise I can very easily be pouring oil over fire. 


I don't know what to do anymore. I am lost. But I'm here. I'm here to listen. To offer a therapeutic presence if I could to anyone who needs one. I'm not here to cast judgement. I'm not here to save anything. 


I can only hope that with time, things will get better. 


Offer simple support. Stay true to my intensions. Answer only to my heart. That's about all anyone can do anyways. Don't get myself into too many things. Even good deeds need to recognize boundaries. And I can't please them all. I won't please them all. 


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