So I did the SunRun, and I learned that I probably isn't all that into running. I'd probably still do it, 'cause it's cheap and relatively easy. But maybe I should bike more, I thought. Biking is more fun, and it's still relatively easier than going swimming.
So I took my rusty bike out. The last time I used it was when I came back for electives as a medical student. The tires were flat, of course,
but I was glad that last time I used it I had managed to install mirrors and bell that still functions. Neat! This bike is pretty much road-ready.
Richmond isn't a very inspiring place to bike around, and I wasn't sure where to go. I'd always enjoyed glancing over at the airport when I'm driving on the Arthur Laine, so I decided to bike over that and cross to Vancouver. It was actually hard finding the route to take me to the bridge. Bike lanes seem to disappear here and there and restart from no logical place whatsoever.
But the harder part was going up on the bridge. It wasn't the biking, actually, or the tiny bike lane beside the cars. It was being high up off the ground, and the water of the Fraser down below. Half-way up, and I remembered I was somewhat afraid of heights.
Indeed I've once turned back while trying to walk the Granville Bridge in Vancouver. WALK! That's how scared I can be.
I actually paused half-way up, and pondered to myself whether I should go ahead.
As I stood there weighting the risks and benefits of going on, I pretended to look around at the landing airplanes, didn't want to seem like I was chickening out to the drivers passing along.
I waited until I gathered enough courage to go on. I can do it, I actually verbalized to myself. I even practiced some box-breathing maneuvers as I paddled my way upwards. I tried not too look down at the water, and focus on the road ahead. I found myself shifting closer and closer to the car lanes, actually, fully aware that the probability of being crushed by the cars far out-weight the probability of catapulting over the high railings and falling into the water. Yet, I didn't mind the cars. Nono, they were not as scary.
Yes! I made it over. I breathed a faint sigh of relieve. It actually took me a long time to feel settled even after I got onto solid ground. And then I realized that I was in a predicament - to go home, I could either take a bus back over the bridge, or to risk my life again to bike back. Crap. I'd hate to spend the money on the needless bus ride. Not to mention it would take forever to get a bus on this holiday.
Eventually, I spent some time to calm myself on marine drive as I biked around and check out some of the really expensive houses. When I was ready, I biked back, trying those relaxation techniques once again. This time I hit the apex fairly quickly, and I stood there, this time truly because I wanted to look at planes. Then I gently biked down. The worse was behind me.
It was fun biking around today, despite the near death experience. (Oh yes it was). I felt somewhat healthy, and somewhat less ashamed of myself by not exercising routinely even though I preach it in my work. I guess I can try to build this habit every year, usually only to lose it again come Winter. But that's fine. Busy people like us are usually stuck in the perpetual cycle
of always trying to build a habit of exercising, then lose the habit, then try again. But that's life, and eventually it might stick.
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