With joyous reception, soft spring elegance, wonderful food and the occasional broken guitar music…
…and the blessing of the sky (the rain held up, but just enough to sprinkle only a tiny bit during outdoor photo session to bring some “good luck”)… it is done.
Vows exchanged. (Well delivered!)
Rings worn. (They fit!)
We sealed the deal with an awkward kiss (just like our very first one where we banged front teeth!)
Husband and wife. Mr. and Mrs. All that loving jazz.
And the same old “bubbs” to each other, as what we chose to call ourselves usually (we had a lovely “bubbles” LED sign proudly displayed in the dining hall at the reception to celebrate such a nickname…)
I always wondered what it would feel like immediately after I am married. The truth is, not a whole lot differently. For months leading up to this moment, with the process of planning a move here to Toronto, getting a home together and renovating it together, our mindset has already thought of each other as our respective partners for life.
This was just to make it official, in front of our family and friends, and leave a memorable start to our lifelong adventure.
And it was, absolutely, memorable.
Days later, back “home” in her rental apartment in Ottawa as we planned to gather the rest of her belongings back to Toronto (she had already moved pretty much all the big pieces herself…), we laid in bed, exhausted, but reminisced about what we had just done… our “DIY” wedding.
I think both of us were overcome with the same emotion… relief.
We did it (mostly her! but I tried to stay involved if not at least with my support and some logistical decisions…).
From the onset, we had received many kind but cautious warnings of being careful taking on too much for our own wedding, that we want to make sure we would be able to enjoy it (we did). We knew it would be a huge undertaking. We planned long in advance and used both our over-thinking brains to try to anticipate which assumptions we could rely on to make logistical decisions. We tried to analyze everything to the bone. What could go wrong, what would we overlooked (we even brought a few spare umbrellas, with matching color schemes, for guests in case it did rain...). For her, her creative juices started flowing months before and allowed her to conceptualize the tinniest of details from decoration all the way to which exceptional flavour wedding cake she should make (she explored various flavour combinations and landed on mango-jasmime-green-tea). She planned so far in advance that it also allowed her to look for cost-saving opportunities to keep the cost of the whole thing to a manageable level…
We both did not want a conventional wedding. If we were to hold one and invite our friends and family, we wanted it to speak to us, to showcase our silly, goofy, quirky selves without disrespecting any traditional processes (note the inclusion of 'Stitch' in her self-made wedding bouquet). In the end, it was going to be OUR big day, and we wanted to make sure we would be able to deliver that vibe to our family and guests.
And we were so proud that it seemed we did just that.
Of course, we couldn’t have done it without the amazing support of our family and friends, especially our wedding party and some exceptionally good friends to help us pull off some last minute scrambles to make this “DIY” wedding a reality. We owe our big day to them, and I’m glad we had lots of videos and footage’s to remember those efforts by.
For both of us, standing back and taking in the scene of our family and friends enjoying the ceremony and reception was some of the most memorable and proud moments for us. Everyone loved the food and decorations that Ellen came up with. Everyone seemed thoroughly impressed.
And I only messed up my guitar playing a couple of times…. (and people said they didn’t even notice!)
So, for us, barely a week into our new life as husband and wife, I think we mostly felt proud of what we were able to do to kickstart our journey together. There were still lots of logistics to deal with, with some post wedding rituals and tidying up things in Ottawa to get ready to spending the summer in Vancouver before our ultimate move back East.
A while back, Ellen and I asked each other what would make both of us feel “married”. I replied, quite dully and conventionally, that to me the beginning is still likely tied to the exchange of the rings and the promises. She told me, quite astutely, that for her, it may likely come a bit later, when one morning, we would wake up together, make breakfast and have a leisurely morning together, that it may finally don on her… that we are now a married couple.
For me, I’m still getting used to having a ring on my finger (my biggest fear is losing it in the shower…). I’ve developed the little habit of rubbing it or rotating it throughout the day. It’s a little playful reminder that I have a “bubbs”. A bubbs for life now.
Thank you for all the support and loving gifts throughout this process. I look forward to celebrating more our journey together with you.
(Top photos by Janice Yi, http://janiceyiphotography.ca, bottom photos by myself)
